On this Day of the Dead I wish to honor my family members who have passed on. I especially want to honor young gay and lesbian people who have been victims of violence. In 10 years of teaching I am certain that at least 3 boys I had in class tragically took there own lives because they could not face the pain. One young man I knew well. He told me I was the only person he ever came out to. He was very popular and talented in many ways. He was an outstanding student, who excelled in many ways, except one. He could not accept himself. He'd send me an email and say he needed to talk. We'd meet somewhere away from school because he was so fearful. I think I am the only person who knows why he did it.
His suicide was the saddest teacher experience of my life. I'll never get over it and I'll never forget. And I don't want to. I decided to not go to his funeral. I was afraid I'd fall apart and people might wonder why.
He's a big reason I put up with all the crap teachers have to endure. I want to be there and help prevent another senseless tragedy.
12 comments:
That is really touching. Least you have found your purpose, and I have not.
If only society could respect people of all orientations equally. If only young people could realize that there is more to life than the worlds of high school and college.
It is so sad that anybody feels so hopeless that suicide appears to be the only way.
Keep telling them that there is a world out there in which they can live, and many gays and lesbians already do. Whether they are active or abstinent, out or closeted, they can find acceptance.
i totally understand this post i myself thought and tried once 2 end it all people dont understand the pressure kids have on them sometimes and then throw gay in there and man its heavy.
good post!
Ryan- Thank you. I'm glad you failed.
http://www.thetrevorproject.org/info.aspx
What needs more publicity/education is the fact that suicide invariably involves neurochemical imbalance. Stress disrupts normal brain function and depression follows. If, as I do, you have a genetic predisposition to depression, well as you know it gets worse and worse. It's not all neurochemical I think, but usually a major factor.
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I'm glad you shared those feelings with us, steevo. Very moving post - and I noticed the Matthew Shepard image on the side there too. Too much is going wrong in our world today, and the (next? current?) generation are the ones suffering too many bad experiences.
Trevor Project is a valuable resource also, and as some of our fellow bloggers have seen, its very easy to find yourself on the edge of the cliff.
I myself have been dealing with major depression and other issues for a long time, and I know how tough it can be.
I just started following your blog a couple of weeks ago, but its definitely some interesting and thoughtful stuff that you post here.
Seth
sethboyardee.blogspot.com
PS: on a lighter more humorous note, every time I hear "Dia de los Muertos" I seem to get a craving for chiles rellenos go figure.
:-)
this was really touching and saddening. i knew a girl at my high school who was there for only a year and she moved away. last week was the second anniversary of the day she committed suicide.
i believe she was bi, and that she had a couple good friends here and that her parents were pretty accepting, but i'm not sure what did it for her.
thank you for sharing this. it's so so so sad that this happens.
My friend tried to take her life the other day because she was a lesbian. It hurts even more because the guilt is on everyone who put them down because they're gay or something. Nobody's life is that invaluable.
I contemplated it many times but never did, thankfully. What really sickens me is folks who place the blame squarely on the shoulders of . . . the kids who've killed themselves.
These statements were copied from an argument I had regarding gay teen suicide a few years ago on a mostly conservative message board:
1: Blaming society is a typical over emotional response when one wants to place the blame for ones actions on not only someone else but everyone else "society" but the coward that takes his own life.
2: If someone is gay and can't cope with other peoples beliefs and thoughts they have a bigger problem than society not accepting them. It is their problem. Get over it !
3: When you chose to be different then you open yourself up to ridicule. And yes, I believe you make a choice to be homosexual. You see, for you to admit that it’s a choice you would also be admitting you made a poor choice. Hence most homosexuals always say they had no choice in the matter, that way they don’t have to admit making a poor choice.
Astonishing . . .
I should add that the people who made these comments all consider themselves "good Christians."
My husband and I are not involved with young people through our work, like you, but we are being trained this week to be adult volunteers at a local organization for LGBT youth and I'm very much looking forward to being able to do something to help.
sadly, the pain that gay teens experience and the lives lost just do not register with the judgmental and self-righteous moral police.
good on you steevo for being there for them. it is comforting to know that there are people like you looking after people like me.
I am so sorry Steve. I read it and my heart dropped. With people like you, and me, and many others we will one day stop all of this all. We just gotta have faith.
I really relate to that kid...its a sad world we live in. Change will hopefully come, and soon. I have lots of friends at home and am not too terrible in school. I tried to kill myself not too long ago, and the thoughts came again very recently.
Idk, its such a struggle day in and day out that there comes so many points where someone can definitely wonder "is it worth the pain? is it worth the hate? is it worth the ridicule?"
Thanks for the post - eye opening and touching because some of us relate on many different levels.
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