People ask why I risk being OUT at school

I am out at school to the degree that all the staff knows since we socialize with some of them frequently. I have a picture of Dan as a screen saver on my "teacher" computer. When students slip into gay bashing comments, I warn them, and they all know I simply will not tolerate it. One line I use is, "I have gay family members, and it bothers me a lot when I hear that sort of language." If a student asks as part of a



casual conversation: "Hey, Mr _________, have you seen Dark Night yet?" I am likely to reply, "No, but Dan and I are going to see it this weekend." ... "Who's Dan?"... "Oh, he's my partner [guess I could say husband] ...we've been together for a long time." Once a student was sorta clueless about partner and together and asked, "Partner?" Thinking quickly and wanting to appear as matter of fact as if I were str8, I managed a "We're like married, we live together." Then he/she got it.

Now if a student is asking to be a rude jerk, I stay calm and pretend I don't understand his very obvious motivation and say something like, "Ya know Bobby, I don't care to discuss my personal life right now. We can chat after class if you like, but right now we need to stick to math, [or whatever class it is]."

One time Jimmy [big mouth, mean streak] did stay after class. He was trying to embarrass me. I was ready for him, so I waited until just the two of us we alone in the classroom and closed the door. I fiddled with some paperwork for a few seconds, so could could stew in his own juices a bit. By then he had lost most of his nerve and all his audience, so: advantage queer. I was excessively kind and gentle, seeking a teachable moment, and I quietly and calmly sed, "So Jimmy, what was it you wanted to ask me?" He was flustered. I told him it was OK, just ask. He was now polite but was avoiding eye contact with me. Finaly he sed he had heard that I was gay and he just wanted to know if it was true. Summonnig my most casual tone I sed, "Oh, yeah, it's true. No big deal. I'm gay. I live with Dan, my partner. We went to high school together. He comes to Varsity baseball games here sometimes. We both played on the same team in high school. If you go to the games, come by and say hi. I'll introduce you."

He said something like, "Oh, OK, Mr. _______. Sorry i was sorta a jerk in class today. I gotta get going." I smiled, shook his hand and sed, "No problem, Jimmy. We can talk anytime you want to."

After that Jimmy was the nicest boy in the world and always worked hard and earned good grades. I had him in class a few more times. We'd say hello passing in the hall, etc. He was always genuinely pleased to see me and seemed to kind of go out of his way to cross paths with me. Once a month or so Jimmy came by my classroom to simply visit, ask how Dan was, etc. I thought, how cool. One less homophobe in the school. It was easy to talk to him. Gay "stuff" never came up. Just two guys talking; often about baseball.

Fast forward to Jimmy's senior year. Baseball season. Jimmy was popular and well respected. Dan and I are at a Varsity baseball game. Jimmy comes walking up to me and Dan, and he has another boy with him. I'm talking serious HUNK. At least a 9+. "Hey Mr. ___________, howz it goin? I want you to meet my boyfriend. Paul, this is Mr. K__________, the best teacher I ever had in this school." So we did ritual introductions all around, me introducing Dan as my partner.

Now you know why I am out at school. I'm no hero, the risk is minuscule. And you never know.

Dan reads this blog, even comments at times as anonymous. He insisted I post this story on the blog. Here it is, hott stuff! xo
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