High School Boy Friends: ANGUISH... ANGST

One of our friends tells the story of his first BF in high school. He had known he was gay for quite a while and was pretty much fine with it but very shy and hesitant to come out enuf to have any boy fun. He admits to being a complete digital nerd who liked staying home and his only date was the five sisters.

Well in sophomore year he met a guy that he kinda liked. They had many geek nerd things in common and started hanging out. Our friend decided to kind of spice up his image a little. His big sister, who he was close to, was always after him to clean up his act, get a stylish haircut and some new clothes rather than the same boring rags he wore, as he says, just so he was not naked in public. [The nerd is now a very funny self confident nerd and quite delightful company.]

So the next time his sister started in on him, he said OK! Lets go shopping. His parents said they would gladly foot the bill. Big sister ordered a long hot shower, double shampoo, etc. He says she was really good at cajoling him gently enough to get him going but not piss him off so he'd refuse to follow thru. Besides, he was out to impress his friend. And he knew he needed help.

So grooming, wardrobe and toiletries were handled on a Saturday; everything from sox and undies to shoes, jackets, sweaters etc. Skin out transformation. The rest of the family made the appropriate fuss and had him do a fashion show when he got home. His sister was young enough to have good teen taste. He now realizes that his parents spent a bundle, but he was a clueless 16 yo nerd.

Big sister was also smart enough and knew him well enough to demand that all his old stuff was tossed except for just a very few fav items. They bagged it up and his dad took it to the Goodwill drop off place. Mom fixed his fav dinner and dessert. He was a little embarrassed he recalls, but deep down was loving all the attention.




Monday: it's off to school where hardly anybody recognizes him. Except his friend who teased him a little. Our friend fibbed and sed his parents forced him to do it. His friend did seem impressed and told him that, well, "You look hot!" A good sign.

Over the next few weeks the other nerd boy made a gradual sartorial transition. Things were looking up. Anxious to explore their new found boldness, and discard more and more of their old personas, one night they got 2 beers and headed for the park at sunset. Our friend reemphasizes that they were nerds, not prudes. LOL

They had NO experience drinking which was fortunate. Half a shared can of beer later, well, let's just say nature took its course. Their friendship blossomed to a new more intimate level. Not much happened, except some awkward making out and uh, er, mutual satisfaction. They were like so clueless, but hormones supplied all that was necessary for a "not-so-bad" first date.

Things progressed slowly, but steadily. Being brainiac ex-nerds, they devised more and more opportunities for more prolonged periods of privacy. Never underestimate the power of 2 randy lads with brains!

The summer was great and they started their junior year. Their intimate moments improved, but they kept delaying the top/bottom roles. Our friend admits it was a ruse to avoid such a big step. And they were quite content winning the baseball game without a grand slam.

Some time in November their luck changed. The BF's dad was transferred to a new far away city. They were devastated of course. They made the most of the time they had left and off the BF went. There were mutual pledges of fidelity and promises of staying in touch. Cell phones were new and expensive. There was email, but it was primitive with neither IMing nor web cams.

Again nature took it course. They both moved on and resigned themselves to the necessary adjustments. New friends were found, life went on.

By the time they both entered prestigious but different Universities they began to compare notes and support each other in the "I need a BF" search. Today they are "just friends" and both are in LTRs. And happy.




One time they were both in our town and they came to dinner with current partners. Being the nosey writer type and looking for good stories for dull GSA meetings, I asked them if they had any regrets. Hardly any they both quickly admitted.

Today they are grateful for the experience of a wonderful "1st Time" and a brief but intense "courtship". They chuckle easily about it now, but also realize that they both learned a lot about being gay. And were well prepared for their subsequent relationships.

So to all you young high school readers that I hope are out there... it may seem like the first BF has to be "The One", but know that if for some reason he isn't, you can still learn and grow from just about any relationship.

As I like to say, "It's a process and life goes on." Hey, maybe it's time for a haircut!
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